Behind the Glass - 2 Imposter Syndrome

Behind the Glass - 2 Imposter Syndrome

If you’re anything like most guys I have served with in both the Military and Law Enforcement and myself, you might have felt like you’re battling imposter syndrome on two fronts. We feel that way often from having to face high expectations and pressure to always be on point and competent. It can make you feel like you’re not living to the standard of the guys around you. Even with our training and experience even the best have felt self-doubt and feel like they don’t deserve the recognition they get from their peers. Listening to podcasts like “The Shawn Ryan Show” even the best Operators in the world have felt this way.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to reach perfection that you find yourself in constant comparison to everyone around you. It’s weird being the most secure person and feeling insecure at the same time. That is brought out from the nature of our work, which is constant critical thinking and often life-threatening situations. Inadequacy and self-doubt come with the territory.

I really feel like I’ve felt this when in a leadership role. I always find myself saying to myself “What makes me better than them?”, when it’s not a matter of who is better, it’s a matter of who has that experience and is trusted by their seniors to make the right decision and right call when it matters the most. This is where the difference between a leader and boss comes into play, but that is an entirely different topic that should be covered.

On the second front, you battle feeling like an imposter in your personal life. I dealt with this mainly after my first deployment when I came home. I felt like I could not relate to anything with anyone that wasn’t where we were. Although I found that was common between both Mil and LEO, it doesn’t make it right. That’s where I feel like guys get that “God Complex” that makes us look like assholes.

I’m not exactly sure how I overcame both. Could have been being humbled and realizing my mortality battling cancer, or it could have been just growing up and maturing. Either way looking back on that mindset it’s unsettling. Still serving in a role where I’m expected to perform, I understand my place and know what I have to offer. That’s a comforting feeling, knowing I’m trusted by my peers to make the right call and have their back in the worst of situations.

At the end of the day, just perform if you’re still in those roles. And if you’re not, treat your personal life like you’re performing for it. Show up where you’re needed and only play nice when you need to. We have a head up on most of society because we can not only provide, but we can protect. Use it wisely, and Stay Gooder.

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